Girl Clock!

Directed by : Jennifer Ussi
Cast: Veronica Neave, Queenie van de Zandt, Catarina Hebbard, Jamie Dunn, Adam Couper
Runtime: 82’
Year of Production: 2010
Country: Australia
Language: English

Christine, Miki and Margo have been friends for 20 years, chatting, gossiping and laughing non-stop through the joys and troubles of marriage, boyfriends, careers, babies and now, age spots and all; they’re still at it, this time facing the fickle whims of MIDDLE AGE. And they’re not facing it particularly well. Miki’s vaguely visible laughter lines have taken Grand Canyon-like proportions in her mind, Margo is desperately trying to empty her nest so that she can finally walk around her own house naked and play actual decent music at whatever volume she wants. And Christine’s just lost it completely and suddenly, urgently, absolutely, wants a BABY.

Christine shuns anonymous donation, her ex boyfriend shuns her, adoption is not on the cards, and all this as her biological clock ticks frantically screaming for fruition and time threatens to run out before the beginning of the end of all choice and reason… the unavoidable malady called MENOPAUSE. But finally she finds her Mr Perfect Donor. He doesn’t want a relationship, he’s tall, not bald, does not have a mental illness and is ready and willing. Unfortunately he dies minutes before they’re about to do the deed...
Being these rather determined women they are, and with a little bit of luck and a lot of ingenuity, out comes the sperm problem ready for Christine’s achingly ready eggs. But there’s a lot of little future babies, and there’s only this one try – well, unless they can keep some of it. Keep it at body temperature until they can safely store it in Christine’s freezer a good 10 kilometre drive away. In goes two semi-filled condoms smothered in some of that baby oil into slightly worried, definitely horrified, but really loyal friends.
Suddenly Christine realises that those two baby-holding, life-saving, sperm-storing condoms had been removed from her handbag. They were her condoms full of pinholes she made during a more than manic moment in the middle of her manic search for a donor. Pinholes viciously punched into the condoms in a moment of madness and desperation… pinholes that would allow as much sperm as an egg could possibly need.